Impulse Slytherin's Girl Pranksters
by HilariouslyInsane
Summary: Impulse.Slytherin's Prankster.Jasper Potter,Constance Malfoy,Kaela Birmingham,Lilac Nott."We're sisters,and we're-NO COME BACK CONSTANCE!I LOVE YOU!""Jasper,I'm right next to you""..It's morning.I haven't had coffee, pranked or yelled at Gryffindors yet!"
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer; I don't own this, but alas, NEITHER DO YOU! Unless your JK…**

**Impulse. Slytherin's Girl Pranksters.**

**Prologue**

Congratulations! By reading this page, means you can read! **Wow! Shock horror! **_Shut it Smart arse! Lilac's trying to sound smart! _Somebody get me some Fire Whiskey quick! Wow! Thanks for those smashingly encouraging words! **And you called me Smart Arse. **_Bugger off Constance. _You know you love us Kiki! _What the hell did I say about that name Jasper? _WILL YOU ALL SHUT IT? **She said that without swearing! **_FUCKING HELL CONSTANCE AMELIA MALFOY, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! _Bad time with Potter? Jasper, he's your brother! **Poor you! Potter AND Black for brother's now! Least you have me :) **_And me! Even though I would rather get eaten by the Giant Squid before I stepped in your house, no offense Jas. _Way to bite the chicken Kae. 'Bite the Chicken?' Constance, what did you do to her? **Why's it always me? SERIOUSLY MAN! **_Was it? _**Well, yeah. **There you go, that's why you get blamed. Cause you do it. **Damn you and your logic Lilac. **

Anyway, moving on, This is us in our final year! I'm Jasper Catherine Potter, otherwise known as Jelly. And yes I am James Potter's twin, and I am unfortunately younger, but my brother's the perfect one. The only thing I beat him at is Quittich! Anyway, I'm a mockery and a sham to the entire Potter family because I got sorted into Slytherin. Anyway, I met these three loonies and we because known as Impulse, 'cause we act on Impulse. Random. We're also a band :) So, yeah, we're awesome. I have the 'Potter Curse'. Uncontrollable Black hair, and hazel eyes. It was only my brother with the funnily shit eyesight. I'm tall-ish, and Good looking. Let's just say I rival Sirius Black at biggest Whore! YAY ME! Chill Dudes ;D

**I'm Constance Amelia Malfoy. Otherwise (Unfortunately) known as Cream. THANK YOU JELLY! I am Lucius Malfoy's younger sister, AND I FUCKING HATE HIM! Stuck up bunch of bad-tempered-toss-pots the lot of 'em. I have boob-length of dirty blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Short-ish. Let's just say I get on more with Sirius Black better than my father, and I've sent Black to the Hospital wings with flesh missing. Cheerio ;)**

_Yip Yap! I'm Kaela Anne Birmingham. Sadly known as Kiki. Known to the Twit Squad (The Marauders) as Kinki. I nearly beheaded them when they called me that. Another week's detention. Damn you McGonagall. I have short pixie like black hair and brown eyes. Tall. Slim. Bad-tempered. Funny. The only person who I can trust, who's an adult is Mr. Potter, Jelly's dad. He's really nice, not like Jelly's Mum. Jesus Christ, the way she acts, you'd think I'd been talking to the Devil. S'laters xx _

Yo. The name's Lilac Lilly Nott. I AM STAR! HEAR ME ROAR! Let me make this clear; MY BROTHER IS THE BIGGEST TWAT EVER! HE HAS A FUCKING BIG ISSUE WITH GOOD PEOPLE! I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WITH MORAL'S? Honestly… I have brown hair and green eyes. Short, petite, has a hell of a bat bogey hex, which Sirius Black has been the end of. Sparkling personality! Mr. P, Jelly's dad, is like, my hero :) Best Auror ever! Baby, Over and Out.

**So… You know that… Did you also know that;**

**We are all Animagi? I'm a Fox, Jelly's a doe, Kiki's a panther and Star's a leopard.**

We all play Quittich! I'm a seeker, Cream's a beater, So's Kiki and Star's a Chaser.

_We are the only female prankster's? We erm, also like getting the Twit Squad. Black's not so cocky dressed as a bird_

We are not to be messed with. We're dangerous, we act as a pack. We trust each other with each other's lives.

So there you have it. **The Chronicles of Our Lives. **_All we can say is, _We're not really sorry if we get you in a prank. You get some, you lose some.

_**Ask us no Questions and we'll tell you no lies. **_


	2. Twit Squad,Feathers, Innocent Prankster

**Disclaimer; Same as always! Never ever gonna change!**

**Impulse. Slytherin's Girl Pranksters.**

**Twit Squads, Feathers and Innocent Prankster**

"WATCH OUT YOU FUCKING RETARDED PERSON! Jesus Christ!" swore Constance at another twitchy first-year who was staring at her.

"Cream! Breathe! The little mite may look retarded, but we don't say things like that" smirked Jasper, at her peeved off friend, as she reminded her that they were standing outside the Lion's den, and they were Snakes.

"!" Came the roar that came from their smallest friend, Kaela, as she burst through the Gryffindor Portrait

"TWIT SQUAD HAS AWOKEN!" yelled Lilac as she ran after her friend. They paused to hear the angry yellings of their arch enemies, The Marauders, or as Impulse fondly called them, 'Twit Squad'.

"IT WAS THEM! IMPULSE!" came an angry roar that came from Jasper's twin, James Potter, that sounded too close to the Portrait hole to their licking. Constance grinned wickedly and they took off running.

"THERE THEY ARE!" Sirius Black yelled, pointing to the running figures. And the Marauders chased ahead, falling straight into their trap.

Kaela winked at Sirius and they ran into the Great Hall, were most of the School was. The Marauder's ran in, covered in glue, feather's, and now it rained cold porridge on them. The girls slowed down to a light jog as they laughed with the rest of the school, at the Marauder's expressions.

"MALFOY! POTTER! NOTT! BIRMINGHAM! BLACK! POTTER! LUPIN! PETTIGREW!" yelled McGonagall. Constance shared a grin with Jasper.

"Score one for Impulse!" They whispered. It was amazing how more twin-like they were than James and Jasper.

"We were innocently-" Sirius began when Kaela scoffed.

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure Black. You were 'Innocently' planning a prank on us? Suuuuuuuure"

"NOTT! HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" McGonagall barked, when Constance burst out into peals of laughter.

"I'm- I'm Sorry, it's just sounded like you said 'Knot your tongue" and Jasper burst out into laughter.

"Potter and Malfoy" sighed McGonagall "How many times must I remind you-"

"If it's reminding Constance, then you'll have to do it a whole more damned times. She bloody forget's everything! Jesus" Lilac exclaimed

"As I was saying, How many times must I remind you to stay out of the Gryffindor's Common Room?"

"Professor, honestly, we HATE your common room! It's too…maroony. I hate maroon. It's a vile colour and it looks like shit. Gold's alright. And the boy's dorms smell so bad, you'd need a gas mask to walk ten seconds in. And the girl's rooms are alright. The view of the Quittich pitch is great," Constance smiled dreamily, and Jasper jumped in

"-So Professor, we won't be needing anymore side trips up into your common room, unless we need to murder someone, get away from a stalker or just feel like a quick hello to brother dearest, and his….Squad? Baboons? Creepy Friends? You get the idea"

"Baboons?" smirked Kaela

"Elephants?" asked Lilac "They have the right skin" The girls burst into laughter and McGonagall came to her sences

"ENOUGH!" she barked "20 points from Slytherin, and two-day detention. Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew, go clean up"

The girls grinned and slapped hi-fives. When they reached the Slytherin table, the Slytherin's burst into applause and laughter.

"Brillo thinking Cream and Jelly!" Kaela grinned as they dug into breakfast.

"We were all smashingly awesome…again" grinned Lilac as they shouted "IMPULSE!"

"Bloody awesome Connie!" Regulus Black grinned as he sat next to his friends

"Thanks Reggie. Where's Sev?" Jasper grinned, as Lilac and Kaela finished their homework

"Sick apparently. Won't let anyone speak to him. Jammed up in his room" the 6th year whispered

"It's the anniversary of his and Evans' loss of friendship yeah?" Constance frowned as she ate a mouthful of Cheerio's.

"Miss Malfoy, Potter Birmingham and Nott, your timetable's" Slughorn announced happily as Jasper and Constance made faces as he talked to them behind his back.

"Thanks Professor" Lilac chirped

"WHAT THE FUCK?" roared Constance and Jasper, together.

"Miss Potter! Miss Malfoy! Control your tongue!" Slughorn chastised.

"Sorry, it's just, WE HAVE EVERY CLASS TOGETHER!" they squealed

"I have ancient runes and divination extra" Lilac frowned

"We got kicked out of ancient runes for getting caught selling 'false data'" Jasper grinned

"When we had just dipped our owl's feet into ink, and made them walk over the page" Constance sniggered

"I have Care of Magical Beings, Ancient runes and Divination extra" Kaela smiled happily.

"What do we have now?" Jasper asked as they picked up their bags

"Potions" Constance said grimly "And please hope that I'm stuck with somebody, who actually knows what their doing, unlike me"

"Unlike last year" laughed Jasper "And we melted your cauldron about six times"

"And we all got dyed blue" Kaela added

Lilac smirked "We got kicked out forever for that!"

"Sorry!" chorused Constance and Jasper as they made their way down to the dungeon.

"TWIT SQUAD ALERT!" roared Kaela as she turned around, spying the four boys.

"Jesus- What can we do?" Jasper asked

"Nothing. They're here" Lilac whispered, pulling out her wand, and storing it up her sleeve.

"Ahh! If it isn't my little sister and her friends" James boomed, and Jasper mutted into Constance's ear.

"Her _sisters_" corrected Lilac

Jasper had a smirk on her face "You see brother dearest, These are my family"

James frowned "We'll always be family, no matter what mum said"

Constance bit her lip as she remembered the latest Potter family Spat.

"What Malfoy? Using your brain?" taunted Sirius

"Shut up Black" spat Constance

"Oi! Don't talk to my mate like that!" jumped in James

"I will if he talks to me like that" snarled Constance, as she shifted her position into her duelling stance.

"Everything alright? Connie? You fine?" Regulus asked looking at the tense atmosphere

"It's fine Reg. Just a tiff. Like always" Jasper shrugged

Regulus smiled "Alright, I'll see you later" and he walked off. Jasper caught Constance's eye and winked.

Constance nodded as if answering a silent question and Jasper smirked.

Lilac and Kaela shook their heads and slowly backed away. Whenever Jasper or Constance winked at each other, it ment they had a plan, and they need everyone away. Constance grinned at James,

"You know James," she said "I know that we have our differences, and we have started on the wrong foot, but I'd like us to be friends"

"Friends?" asked James uncertainly and slowly

"Yes. Friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S" Jasper said slowly like she was talking to a five-year old. She waved her hand backwards, to signal, 'BACKUP!'

So Quickly, you might've missed it if you blinked, Constance flung a dungbomb behind them, and it became clouded, the four girls ran away, to their Potion's class.

"Cutting it close girls!" Slughorn chuckled as they reached his Classroom.

"Sorry Professor! Minor tiff." Lilac lied so smoothly, it sounded true. Constance and Jasper moved into one seat, and Lilac and Kaela into the other.

"Now, as I was saying I have picked the partners, to form a inter-house-relationship" Slughorn began

"Professor! I already dislike some of the Gryffindor house, I doubt that I need to dislike more" Constance growled as the Marauders entered the room, shooting daggers at the girls.

"What my crazy friends here is trying to say is that, maybe we should partner up with someone from our own house" Jasper said, raising one eyebrow at Constance, wondering if she had already forgotten her words, but with Constance you would never know. In one ear and Out the other.

"Interesting Point Miss Malfoy and Potter, but we shall o along with my plan. Now, the partners, Mr Potter with Miss Malfoy, Mr Lupin with Miss Potter, Mr Pettigrew with Miss Nott, Mr Black with Miss Birmingham, Mr Snape with Miss Evans.." Slughorn read off the sheet and Constance winced at every bad pairing, which, frankly was _every one_.

Constance moved at sat next to James. "I hope you know what you're doing. I melted my cauldron six times last year" she announced

James smiled sheepishly "Um…I was hoping you know too…"

"…We're Fucked" was Constance's response "Oh! Lettme ask Jelly…OI! JELLY! YOU UTTER IDIOT! WHAT THE FLANDONDULE ARE WE DOING?" she shouted to the other side of the Dungeon where Slughorn had put them

"DUNNO CREAM! LUPINS DOING IT ALL, THANK MERLIN! GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT! WHAT COULD HAPPEN?" Jasper shouted back

"WITH ME JELLY, EVERYTHING COULD HAPPEN!"

"SO TRUE!"

James watched their conversation with a smile "Jelly?" he asked "And Cream?"

"Padfoot?" Constance challenged "And Prongs?"

"Touché" he muttered and grinned at Constance. "Shall we go? As Jasper said, what could happen?"

What happened was that Constance burnt herself three times, James was soaking wet, and they burnt Constance's caldron.

"Sorry!" James said again, as she caught the bean that was flying dangerously close to her eye.

"S' alright. MAGIC BEAN!" Constance roared as she finally cut it.

"MERLINS UNDERCRAKERS LUPIN! HOW ON CONSTANCE'S BLONDE NATURE DID YOU DO THAT?" Jasper asked amazed. Of course, they were done.

"OI! NO NEED TO INSULT MY LACK OF MEMORY SMART ARSE!" Constance laughed

"HOW DO YOU REMEMBER MY NAME THEN?" Challenged Jasper

"ASK ME NO QUESTIONS AND I'LL TELL YOU NO LIES!" laughed Constance.

At the end of the double lesson, James and Constance handed in their potion, sorry-looking.

"Merlin's beard!" snorted Kaela "What the fuck happened to your Cauldron?"

"I happened" Constance whimpered and the girls laughed.

"See you Constance!" called James cheerfully "I'm Sorry about your cauldron!"

"No Problem Potter" Constance smirked her trademark smirk "This is the thirty-ninth cauldron"

"I'll owl Dad to pick you one up" Jasper said still laughing

"Thanks Jelly"

"No problem Cream"

"!" announced Kaela happily

"I'm tired Jelly!" whined Constance "Carry me!"

"No" retorted Jasper. Constance pouted and jumped on her back, almost sending Jasper falling over. "Merlin's Panties Cream! What don't you understand about 'no'?"

"Carry me servant!" cried Constance dramatically

"YES MASTER!"

The Hogwarts student's watched as Constance shouted things like, 'Round 'em up Cowboys!' and Jasper would neigh in response. Minerva McGonagall smiled. There certainly wasn't a tighter sisterhood than Constance Malfoy and Jasper Potter.


	3. Mum Does, Dad Does

**Impulse. Slytherin's Girl Pranksters**

**Mum does and Dad does**

Peter stared at his three best friends. He really didn't fit in. There was James Potter. Tall, handsome, Quittich Player, Funny and already picked out his girlfriend, Lily Evans, even though she constantly refused him. He was a Stag. Proud, Majestic and The Leader.

There was Sirius Black. Tall, handsome, Quittich Player, Funny, Player, and girls _swooned _at him. He was fit, and he and James were the leaders. He transformed into a Black Dog. Man's best friend, loyal, cunning and The Right Hand man.

Remus Lupin. Broody, tall, and had battle scars that made girls go crazy. He had manners, and could keep up a conversation. He was the rock in the brotherhood. Werewolves are Strong, Loyal animals that are brilliant.

Finally, slightly out of place was him. Pudgy Pathetic Peter, well that's what Impulse called him.

"Oh Lookie here gents. It's Jasper Potter, all out on her lonesome" Sirius called cockily from the Halls. It was an hour past curfew. James was wearily walking behind him, Remus frowning, next to James.

"Oh Lookie here Ladies. It's Sirius Black and his Band of Retarded Elephants" Jasper called. Her classic Potter hair waving in the wind.

"What Ladies? I just see you Jasper" Sirius smirked.

"Wow. And the most obvious assumption goes to…SIRIUS BLACK! But yet again Sirius, your totally wrong" Constance Malfoy spoke from the shadows, reappearing near Peter. He shivered.

"Ah, Malfoy. Knew you'd be here" James grinned. "Are you and my sister going out?" There was silence, until a loud snort broke the silence.

"I think James wishes to be there to wank when he see's our sex rituals Cream" Jasper grinned as her best friend stood by her side.

"I rekon Sirius does too. Gawd, his brother loved it, and they seem to be alike" Jasper's grin grew wider.

"Miss Potter, Malfoy, I thought I sent you back to your common room half an hour ago" the crisp voice of Minerva McGonagall broke up the conversation. "Go there immediately"

"SIR YES SIR!" chanted Jasper and Constance. They winked and skipped off, chanting, "My boot scooping baby is driving me crazy, my obsession of a western – my dance floor date, my rodeo romeo, a cowboy head from head to toe, Wanna make you mine, better get in line, 5 6 7 8"

Sirius and James grinned. They were so lively and innocent. Well, not _innocent. _

They got off with a warning and trampled to bed. Sirius pondered over the girls.

Jasper Potter was the female version of James. Arrogant, Trustworthy and loyal. She had the Potter hair, but her own smile. Her hazel eyes would sparkle with deviousness. She was a damn good Quittich player, too. "Dude, you're crushing my DAMN BUBBLE HERE!" were the first things she said to him. Yes, she defiantly would be Prongs.

Constance Malfoy was like him. She denied her heritage and had a huge ego. She made people laugh and she stuck by Jasper everyday and every minute. Her dark hair and light smile made an interesting combination. Her blue eyes betrayed every emotion though. "Constance is my name, Kicking you ass is my game" was her cheeky response when someone asked her name. Yeah, she would be Padfoot.

Lilac was like Remus. She studied but she was still mischievous. Her short but spiky black hair and her kind brown eyes, she was more of a Hufflepuff. She denied profusely about it though. When James and him infiltrated one of their meetings, she worked things out, shouted loudly in long cuss words, while Constance and Jasper would use shorter ones. "HEY LOOK! A REALLY MAGICAL AND NOT FAKE DISTRACTION!" was her way of getting out of things. She was defiantly Moony.

Kaela was her own person. She wasn't like Peter. She reminded Sirius of his brother, back before Old Tommy and his mates got to him. She had a sense of humour, she was pretty and pretty good company. Her easy smile got people off guard when she wanted something, and she was friends with Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, she once tried being friends with Gryffindor's, but they pranked her, and she stopped. So, Kaela Birmingham was like his brother, who, coincidentally was one of their closest friends.

"POTTER!" came the roar from McGonagall

"He/She did it!" came the simultaneous reply from Jasper and James

"PROFESSOR! PEEVES HAS THROWN DUNGBOMBS IN THE POTIONS ROOM!" Filch cried from the door. McGonagall rose and swiftly stalked away

"…You so owe me" Constance sniffed

"HOW?" James asked enraged

"I convinced Peeves to erm…help us out? God, Amateurs"

"I AM NOT AN AMATEUR!" James roared. There was an awkward silence.

"_Rigghhhtttt…."_

"HEY! I AM!"

"On what planet?" Jasper interjected, now standing up, facing her brother, who was on the other side of the Great Hall.

"THIS PLANET! I AM THE BEST!" James yelled

"ACCORDING TO YOU!" screamed Jasper

"AND MUM!"

"SHE DOESN'T COUNT!"

"YES SHE DOES!"

"THEN DAD SAYS I'M THE BEST AT QUITTICH!"

"HE DID NOT!"

"HE DID TOO!"

"HE DOESN'T COUNT!"

"YES HE DOES! IF MUM DOES, DAD DOES!"

"**WILL YOU BOTH, SHUT UP?" **Constance and Sirius yelled at the same time

"You" hissed Constance dangerously

"ME?" Sirius yelped

"Your gonna get hurt soon" Constance snarled

Sirius gulped "Thanks"

**A/N; I KNOW! IM A HORRIBLE AUTHOR! :( **


	4. Life Close to Perfect

**Impulse. Slytherin's Girl Pranksters**

**Life Close to Perfect**

"Professor McGonagall! Professor Slughorn! I found these two behind my hut!" Hadgrid threw the Great Hall's doors open and came striding in, holding Sirius and Constance by the scruff of their collars.

"I dug a hole and pushed him in it!" grinned Constance, waving at the Slytherin Table, who were laughing madly.

"Bitch!" cried Sirius "You said that you had something special for me!"

"I did!" cackled Constance, "a nice, big, muddy, dirt hole!"  
"CONSTANCE! YOU BIG BAFFOON! WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY, ABOUT MISSING QUITTICH PRACTISE HUH? YOU MENTAL MANIAC!" Jasper Potter came striding in, her hair windswept and in a tank top and short running shorts, her hazel eyes burning angrily "In a couple of weeks, we're playing fucking Birdface, and if we don't win, _...Life_ because my Perfect Baby Brother is the captain of the Cats and Gryffinwhore, his faithful sidekick –who I'm very happy to see, you followed Idea #64532 or Mud-Hole #8 – Anywho, please try and make practise tomorrow Cream" at the end of her rant she sat down and said, "How 'bout them Cannon's eh?"

_**Constance's POV**_

"Mr Black, What's your side of the story?" asked the Damn-Twinkle-Man aka Dumbledore

"Well…" and then Black went all; I-am-an-innocent-man-whore-who-is-sexy-and-all-that-shit "…So I am innocent"

"Miss Malfoy?" asked Damn-Twinkle-Man

"Huh? Oh, My side? I decided to do the world a favour and push Gryffinwhore into a hole. Mr. Giant over here caught me, I was dragged, all the way up this damn Castle with Gryffinwhore yapping in my ear the whole bloody time! God, what a idiot! And only Merlin knows that I know everything that Gryffinwhore does at night. So _Professor, _If you'll excuse me, I have Quittich to practise" I wiggled and got out from Mr. Giant's grip and walked out, ignoring Dumbledore's chuckling. What a retard.

_**Jasper's POV**_

After Miss I-skip-Quittich-Practise-To-Flirt-With-Sirius-Black-And-Then-Push-Him-Into-A-Ditch-I-dug-3-hours-before had skipped/ran/power walked out the room. "You gotta admit she's good" Reggie said next to me.

"Reggie, do you really wanna get hit over the head with a bloody spoon?" I snapped. I didn't need to hear more about perfect Constance. Fucking Malfoy. I scowled and walked away, mindlessly walking the hall, abit like Crabbe and Goyle.

"I HATE SLYMY SLYTHERINS!" hollered a familiar voice infront of me. I slowed in my tracks. James and his gang of Elephants

"Isn't your sister is Slytherin?" asked Lupin, raising one eyebrow.

"SO?" asked James. "She's a bitch and I don't even blame Mum from wanting to disown her"

I gasped. Well, FUCK YOU TOO JAMES.

"Thanks James" I snarled. "Nice to know that" And stormed away, with my Billowy Cape of Doom following.

_*Flashback! Because I am awesome! THIRD WOMAN'S POV*_

An brown tawny owl flew into the room. James Potter ran forward and claimed it, "Potter Mansion" he read. James opened the letter but before he could read it, Jasper (Ever so patient twin) ripped the paper from him.

"Dumbledore la-de-fricken-dah brag brag brag, HA! Dear _Miss J. K. Potter_ –suck balls James- Blah Blah Blah, awaiting Thing with Claws, McG please note; blah, blah, blah. UNIFORM! Blah blah blah, WHAT? SKIRTS! Bitches… Spell books! Magical Shit by Mr. Boring blah, blah, blah. Awesome! OI! DEATH TRAP!" Death Trap, Jasper's bird flew down onto her arm. "Wait here, I gotta send a reply." Seconds later, Jasper came down a reply that looked like this;

_**Dear McG & Dumbles,**_

_**I AM COMING! Now, What is the policy of playing Quittich in the Corridors? Do people sign up, or do we just join in?**_

_**Scoobadoo,**_

_**JASPER THE AWESOME, Order of Awesomeness 1**__**st**__** class, Chief Of The WhoCaresAnymore Tribe**_

A couple of Hours later, Dumbledore chuckled. "Sounds like we have a Little Gang of Slytherins on our hands Minerva. Look at these replies" Dumbledore handed McGonagall some reply sheets.

_**Al and Minnie;**_

_**YO MAN! I am coming to rock you all! No matter what Mother says. What's the Hexing policy? Can we hex annoying people in the Corridor? Like James Potter? GOD HE'S ANNOYING! **_

_**Toodles, **_

_**Queen Constance. [You know it! BOW DOWN MINIONS!]**_

_**Mr and Mrs Headmaster;**_

_**I'm coming, SO YOU BETTER BLOODY PUT ME DOWN! Do you rekon you can turn a blind eye to my pranking since I'm awesome? :)**_

_**S'laters alligator;**_

_**THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD; aka Lilac Nott xD**_

_**To You Know Who,**_

_**NOT THAT YOU-KNOW-WHO RETARD! DUMBLEDORE! **_

_**I'm coming. Believe it or not. :)**_

_**In awhile, Crocodile,**_

_**Ya Mama… JOKES!**_

_**Kaela Birmingham **_

_*END FLASHBACK!*_

"Are you sure?" Constance asked Jasper

"I'm surer than Dumbledore with a pair of Socks" Jasper responded, nodding.

"You're a retard"

"An AWESOME retard"

"Keep dreaming Jelly"

"So, plan #64533 or Pay-Back-Gryffindor's, say I, if you agree"

"I!" Lilac hollered

"HEY! I WANTED TO SAY, 'I'!" Kaela jumped to her feet

Jasper and Constance grinned. Life was going to be perfect. Well, close to perfect.


	5. House Swap? Who thinks up this shit?

**Impulse. Slytherin's Girl Pranksters**

_House Swap? Who thinks up this shit?_

"Good Evening Students. I have gathered you here today, to announce a new inter-house relation!" Dumbledore's overly perky voice penetrated Constance's plotting. Operation #64533 or Pay-Back-Gryffindor's was failing. Miserably. And now, Professor Fucking Lemon Drops, was boring the shit out of her.

"I can feel my brain slowly melting through my ears" Jasper whispered into Constance's ear quietly. Constance snorted and everyone looked at her. She quickly disguised it as coughing.

"As I was saying, Professors, McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick and Slughorn have agreed that this is a good thing. We have chosen 4 swappers from each house. They are random. The following Swappers are; Jasper Potter, Constance Malfoy, Kaela Birmingham, Severus Snape, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Alice McCraw, Bertha Jorkins, Peter Pettigrew, Amos Diggory, Rita Skeeta, Amelia Bones, Marlene McKinnon, Ashlee Chang, Rein Lovegood, Jason Bones, Ophelia Hurstbridge. If those people could come up now." Constance, Jasper and Kaela carefully walked to the front, Constance scowling, Jasper snarling and Kaela her bright, bubbly self. Severus lurked behind them.

"When I call you up, pick a name from the hat, and that is your new house" McGonagall announced.

" Potter, Jasper" Jasper slowly walked up. She picked up a piece of paper, and the paper sprang to life.

"GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted. The hall was in shock. Proud, Slytherin-like Jasper Potter was joining her brother?

"Malfoy, Constance" Constance sadly walked up. She too, grabbed a piece

"GRYFFINDOR" it screamed. It took a moment to settle in.

"IM WITH YOU JELLY!" Constance yelled, beaming.

"Birmingham, Kaela"

"RAVENCLAW" Ravenclaw's cheered, Kaela beamed. She walked past Constance and Jasper without a second thought.

"Snape, Severus"

"RAVENCLAW"

"Shacklebolt, Kingsley"

"RAVENCLAW"

"McCraw, Alice"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Jorkins, Bertha"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"Pettigrew, Peter"

"SLYTHERIN"

"Diggory, Amos"

"GRYFFINDOR"

"Skeeta, Rita"

"SLYTHERIN"

"Bones, Amelia"

"RAVENCLAW"

"McKinnon, Marlene"

"Gryffindor"

"Chang, Ashlee"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"Lovegood, Rein"

"HUFFLEPUFF"

"Bones, Jason"

"GRYFFINDOR"

"Hurstbridge, Ophelia"

"SLYTHERIN"

"Thank you, if you could all sit down at your table's please?" Dumbledore's merry twinkle made Jasper scowl. No way in Voldemorts Nipple, was she sitting there.

"Sir, No way, are those Slimy Slytherins sitting next to me" Sirius Black's loud and obnoxious voice broke the awkward silence.

"No one asked you opinion Black" spat Jasper "Lily, May we sit next to you?"

Lily Evans grinned at her friends "Corse Jas, Connie, Welcome to Gryffindor!" Jasper and Constance grinned and sat next to the Gryffindor. When they did, their house robes changed colour.

"EW! ITS MAROON! GET IT OFF!" Screamed Constance while Jasper and Lily cried with laughter.

"Wait till you see most of our uniform Connie" Lily squealed while slapping her knee. Jasper and Constance raised one eyebrow and promptly cracked up.

"Everyone have a good night, and month you hear? Off to bed, Pip Pip!" Dumbledore dismissed them and Jasper and Constance made themselves comfortable in Gryffindor.

"Hey, Mine name's Jasper Potter! I like eating Gryffindor's cause I'm a Slytherin!" Jasper cackled while the first-year ran away.

"YO! Name's Constance Malfoy! Hey- I'll give you a galleon if you hex Black. Fuck, I haven't got a galleon. JELLY! YOU GOT A GALLEON? Voldemorts' Nipple. Hey, DON'T POKE! Yeah, Fuck You Too" Constance smiled at a 6th year.

"NO POTTER! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!" Lily's screeches interrupted Constance's and Jasper's Quest Of Annoyance.

"Yo Lil-Dawg. What Prick do we have to- Oh. You. Well. Um. Awkward!" Constance blabbered

"Constance. Shut up. Lily, He's a prick. Deal with it and move on. James, YO MAN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ANNOYING HER FOR? Black, Your annoying, piss off. Lupin, SMILE MAN! GOD! Pettigrew, ew." Jasper spoke to each person smiling cheerily.

"Jasper, your freaking the shit out of me. Merlin, was it the ice-mice that you ate? I KNEW that man was fishy, but noooo you never listen to me, the smart one!" said Constance frowning

"Cream. You're the retard that hugged the man for giving us Ice-mice. You've never EVER been the voice of reason. Or Smart one" Jasper smirked

"Shove it Jelly"

"Shove it yourself" Jasper retorted

"You guys c'mon. _Flibbergut" _Lily gained entrance to the Gryffindor Common room which fell silent when the girls walked through.

"Traitor!" came a call. Snarls instantly came from Jasper and Constance.

"Who the fuck was that? Kelsworth? Fucking hell dude, If you say that one more time-" Jasper snarled

"-Or If you even say one thing that upsets Lily-" Constance glared

"- I will not fucking hesitate to shove this wand up your ass-"

"-So suck that!" Constance slapped at V around her ass.

"Now, if you'll shut up, I need some serious Prank Planning time" Jasper glared at the first years who twitched.

"Hufflepuff's Jelly? They haven't been pulling their weight, and I feel like a beautiful 'wake up' present will be welcome.

"Ditto"

When the girls were settled up in bed, Jasper (who shuddered when she saw the dorm and promptly changed the colours to Green and Silver) turned to Constance.

"Seriously? A house Swap? Who thinks up this shit?"

"Dumbledore"

"True, true"


End file.
